Don't Go Crying Your Eyes Out
by xStepOneIsYourHeartx
Summary: Short Stack/Shandy ficlet. Shaun's POV of his song 'Crying Your Eyes Out' as a solo artist. Shaun/Andy pairing.
1. Chapter 1

After New Years in 2011, the band and I came back to the studio for a meeting. It was a horrible day, yet it had to be done. We were all done with the fighting, the drinking and not to mention the fact that my past was Short Stack which became the future I never wanted. Bradie was over it, he wanted the producing at home by his apartment window with his girlfriend and a dog. I wanted to do a solo thing, I wanted it my way, which I now realize it was slightly selfish for saying that. But we were all _unhappy_ with Short Stack, we loved the fans, we loved the shows...we just hated the reality.

The reality being hungover, making sure our album was done by the due date, fighting over how music should be made, fighting with our girlfriends, parents, fighting with each other and fighting about our past. The drinking in it all made it so much more depressing.

We all put a maybe on the break up until after we played two shows. Andy was quiet, he took many photos, as did we all. He'd smile on camera but funny thing is behind that he's straight faced, quiet and dull, he said fine to the break up, but if it's two against one, what's the point in fighting? Especially when we've fought, time and time again.


	2. Chapter 2

Andy seemed alright after the break up, Bradie and I spoke more now than we did as a band. It was all okay until I got an excited text from Andy, telling me he got a part in Neighbours, I was happy for him, of course! But once again, it led to more and more fighting about money and how he should be doing things to get his music out there, not to show himself off to make a heap of money when 50% of the recording would be messed around with. Bradie became sick of me, unfollowed me on twitter, telling me 'Why can't you just let him be happy for once?'. I had never felt so shit in my life.

I resolved all that though, with Bradie, when Andy moved 40 minutes away from us. I apologized to Bradie and Andy...I got no reply from Andy. Bradie and I hung out together when I'd go to Sydney to record.

Bradie and I sat at Oporto, waiting for our meal. He sipped his coke.  
"How's the producing thing going?" I asked, locking my iPhone.  
"good, yeah. I'm working with a few people already, they're really great, talented. Everything we really weren't" He joked, we both laughed.  
"hey um...has Andy found anything to do yet?" I asked sincerely, Bradie had a slight 'why do you care?' look on his face crossed with worried, his brown eyes glanced at his coke.  
"don't know, I don't speak to him that often anymore, he keeps to himself a lot more. But he's definitely moved on" I couldn't tell if he was lying or not. I have known him for almost 10 years.  
"oh really? Cool. I hope he's doing something with himself at least" I replied.  
"besides touching himself?" Bradie made a joke, I couldn't help but laugh along.  
"You're probably right though, he's pretty lazy—Hey, what about him and that girl of his? Justine?" I asked, remembering he had a girl on his arm now.  
"oh...yeah, that's not going too well from what I hear"  
"what do you mean?" I asked, a waitor put our food in front of us "thanks" I smiled before Bradie replied.  
"They fight a lot, she's madly in love with him but he drinks and now so does she. Andy doesn't really want to commit and she wants to rush. He doesn't think she's the one for him and I agree. She's kind and everything but she's not good for Andy." Bradie was unamused, picking up his burger.  
"Funny. I wonder how he'll end out" I huffed, grabbing a chip.  
"probably depressed and lonely" Bradie smiled. Like that was funny.  
"what's that supposed to mean?"  
"it means that Andy has never been happy, not completely. Not unless his drunk or horny. Last time we saw him happy was honestly when he was with you—"  
I shook my head "Bradie, seriously? It didn't work out—"  
"for you it didn't"  
I sighed and took a gulp of my drink. "I should call him tonight"  
"that sounds like a good idea, here, he changed his number so I'll give you his new one"

After exchanging the number I got home, I felt so nervous picking up the phone. Brooke doesn't get home for a few hours, and I hope she doesn't find out.

I dialled Andy's number, holding my phone to my ear.

it rung, three times before my heart jumped at the drained, husky voice.  
"hello?"  
"hey..." I spoke softly, afraid.  
"Shaun...?" he sounded like he was in disbelief  
"yeah Andy. It's me"  
"how are you?"  
"I-I'm good, working on a few projects...yourself?" I asked, taking a seat on my couch.  
"alright" he laughed "so, why the random phone call?"  
"oh no reason...just bored and uh, I'd like to apologize for what I said when you were going to be on Neighbours." I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly.  
"It's fine dude, seriously. Like, I understand why you said what you did and I honestly regret it...not many of the fans were proud" He sounded embarrassed at himself, I couldn't help but feel bad.  
"I'm sorry..." was all I could say  
"I just need time to myself, you know?"  
"yeah. I know" I smiled slightly "I thought I'd call to say what I should have said before. That you are an amazing guy and I'm thankful you walked in my life. I hope everything works out, you deserve it"  
"thank you Shaun" he went quiet for a few seconds before I heard a sniff.  
"don't cry...why are you crying?"  
"I-I'm not" he spoke distraught "I have to go. I'll speak to you later"  
"Andy—"

And he hung up, just like that. I couldn't do this over a _phone_ call. I got off the couch and slipped my shoes on, calling Bradie and I grabbed my car keys.

"hello?"  
"Hey Bradie, can you tell me where Andy's moved to?"


	3. Chapter 3

I drove 40 minutes to Andy's house. It was brand new, it didn't have a lawn, just a pile of dirt and dry cement at the front, I walked up to the cream coloured wooden door, knocking three times, the cool air whipped through me, soon changing to warmth as Andy opened the door, his heater was on. Andy wiped his eyes and groaned as if he needed sleep. His hair was getting darker and his eyes were brighter than I remembered and he had a lot more muscle, now I know what he does with his spare time.  
"What is it Shaun?"  
"can I come inside?"  
"Sure" he smiled, a smile I had forgotten. I smiled back and walked inside, the house was tiled and smelt of paint. I walked down the hall which immediately led to a kitchen/living room. It was slightly messy with his guitar and buckets and sheets with paint on them.  
"I swear, give me some scissors—" he started to mock my hair.  
"shut up" I laughed. "hey, cool house" I then complimented, looking around as I sat down, pulling my hair behind my ears.  
"thanks, still got some work to do" he laughed "I don't exactly have the money for the full renovation, so I have to get knees deep in working" he turned on the tap, washing his hands.  
"Is that what you're doing now...?" I asked, almost disappointed. I wanted so much better than this for him. I wanted him, or hoped he would end up somewhere great. He looked over at me ashamed as he came and sat next to me.  
"I have nothing better to do. I mean, I've been trying to write and play music but I seem to have lost my muse, I spend most of my days either at the gym, cleaning windows at stop lights, fixing my house, sitting in bed watching different TV series and drinking on the weekends. I don't see a future for me right now..." He admitted, I felt myself feel weighed down in guilt. "which isn't good, I know...I just need to sort my shit out"  
"So...you've moved on?" I asked, he looked down. "I guess not" I added  
"no and I'm certainly not happy" he huffed a dry laugh, a painful one.  
"What happened to your girlfriend?" I asked, curious.  
"we broke up, for the 5th time in our whole year of being together"  
"oh...I'm sorry"  
"no one makes me happy. I'm just...meh" he sighed, I remembered what Bradie said, about how he was happiest when he was with me, I bit my lip and scooted closer to him.  
"Andy..."  
"hm..?" he looked at me, I breathed deeply, placing my hand on his jawbone as I leaned in, kissing his soft lips slow and tender, he tried to pull away before falling into the kiss, we kissed slow and tender for a while before I kissed him lightly, pulling away, stroking his cheek with my thumb.

I don't know why I kissed him, I feel like I made a mistake. Not to Brooke, she understood the situation, but Andy loved or is still in love with me, I can't imagine how he feels now.

"what was that for?" Andy asked in shock, breathless.  
"to remind you of happiness. Although it didn't work out between us or the band but I want you to keep in touch, I want you to succeed. I'm sorry now that I came, because I probably fucked with your head some more, but I just have to tell you that I want you to fall in love, get married, have kids, be successful. I want you happy and I want you to know that my life wouldn't make sense if you weren't around. So please, don't give up. It's not over, okay? We have photos and as long as we keep in touch, we might come back to this, being a band, some day." I looked him right in the eyes as I said this, hoping to give him some hope.  
Andy still sat stunned, a tear leaked from his left eye, I stroked it away.  
"Please don't cry..." I spoke soft, sincere, Andy wiped his eye as I felt my phone vibrate.

'_Hey baby, I'm home with KFC, come home soon okay? xx'_

"I guess that's my queue to leave" I laughed, getting up, Andy got up quickly, wrapping his arms around me, I hugged him back as he nuzzled his head into my neck.  
"thank you Shaun" he muffled. I kissed his head and pulled away.

"You stay here, I'll lead myself out. Keep in touch, okay?" I reminded him.  
"of course, I might head to bed...I-It...It was good to see you" He smiled.  
"you too. Sleep well" I smiled back, turning around and heading out.


	4. Chapter 4

This is why I sit here today, in my front yard, staring into the distance with memories flying through my head. I wrote 'Eyes Out' a couple months back about this situation, now I changed it to 'Crying Your Eyes Out'. The lyrics made more sense, it was kind of an apology to Andy and a hope that he was okay, that I understood how he felt about the band 'our hearts went down like sinking ships' but I want him to remember that he means a lot to me. That's the point of the song, as for Brooke. It's a reminder to her that even though I've gone through this shit, she is my only one, in the end. That's how it should be. That's how it's meant to be. I love Andy, I still have the photos and memories, I need him in my life and I don't want to lose him, but I'm _in _love with Brooke, I need her too and if I picture a forever, it's with her.

Nothing will ever be the same from now on, but nothing is forgotten and it can only get better from here.

**_I heard you moved on,  
but are you happy now?  
I just called to tell you,  
what I should've said before,  
before it's too late.._**

And I don't know how we got to this,  
you're slipping through my fingertips,  
you wasted so many tears on me..

So don't go crying your eyes out,  
just sleep with the lights out,  
don't try to make sense of things,  
don't go thinking it's over,  
I kept all the photos,  
told my friends when everything,  
is said and done,  
you're the only one.

I'm sorry now,  
I'm sorry I'm here,  
but I had to tell you,  
I had to tell you life makes no sense,  
if you disappear,

and I know we can't come back from this,  
our hearts went down like sinking ships,  
you wasted so many tears on me, me..

Don't go crying your eyes out,  
just sleep with the lights out,  
don't try to make sense of things,  
don't go thinking it's over,  
I kept all the photos,  
told my friends when everything,  
is said and done,  
you're the only one..

you're the only one...

you're the only one..


End file.
